Three New Years, Three Words

A while back I came across the idea of picking one word for the year instead of a list of resolutions. The pitch was simple: a checklist is easy to fail and easy to forget, but a word is something you can carry around. You can hold a decision up against it and ask, "does this move me toward the word or away from it?"

That part stuck with me. The January 1 part never did. The calendar new year has nothing to do with my actual life, so I split it up.

Three new years

I run three personal new years now, and each one gets its own word.

• Relationship new year -- our wedding anniversary in July
• Professional new year -- October, when I went FTE at Microsoft
• Personal new year -- my birthday in April

Each one marks a real beginning, so each one gets its own check-in and its own word. There's no single moment in the year where I have to think about everything at once, which is honestly the main reason this works for me.

Why a word, not a resolution

Resolutions are about behavior. Words are about how you show up.

If I tell myself "work out four times a week," that's pass/fail. The minute I miss a week the whole thing is dead. A word doesn't collapse like that. It just shows up the next time I'm making a decision and asks if I'm being honest about it.

It also makes the cheating harder. You can fake a streak. It's tougher to fake a word. If the word is uncomfortable and I just spent six months doing the same things I've always done, the word calls that out before anyone else does.

Relationship: Magical

Wedding anniversary, July. The word is magical.

Short version: the easy version of a long marriage is the comfortable one, and comfortable isn't the same as magical. Magical means I'm still planning the surprise, still picking the better restaurant, still treating the relationship like it's worth the extra effort. Because it is. The word is mostly there to keep me from coasting.

Professional: Uncomfortable

Professional new year is October, the month I went FTE at Microsoft. The word I keep landing on is uncomfortable.

Here's the honest reason. My career has gone well, and when things are going well the temptation is to settle into the version of yourself that got you here. That's usually right when growth stops. Uncomfortable means I take the speaking slot I'm not sure I'm ready for. I write the post I'm nervous to publish. I go after the role that stretches me instead of the one that feels safe.

If I'm ever fully comfortable in my professional year, I'm probably doing it wrong.

Personal: No loose ends

Personal new year is my birthday in April. I just turned 35, and the phrase I keep circling is no loose ends.

35 is the age where the half-finished projects, the unanswered messages, the bills I keep meaning to deal with, the small open loops in every corner of my life -- they start to add up. They quietly drain energy I'd rather spend on the people and the work I actually care about.

No loose ends isn't about being a perfectionist. It's about closing things on purpose. Finish it, decide not to do it, or hand it off. Just stop letting it sit half-open in the back of my head.

I might land on a single word here eventually. For now the phrase is doing the job.

Wrapping up

Three new years, three words. Magical. Uncomfortable. No loose ends.

None of them are measurable. None of them are SMART goals. That's the point. They're how I want to show up over the next twelve months, anchored to dates that actually mean something to me instead of one the calendar picked.

If January 1 has never really worked for you either, give this a try. Pick the dates that matter to your life. Pick a word for each one. Then see how the next decision lines up.

If you've done something similar -- different dates, different words, a totally different system -- I'd love to hear about it. Shoot me a message using any of the links in the footer.

Thanks for reading!